


Poor Choice of Words

by completelyhopeless



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Gen, Pre-Avengers (2012), Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barton has a habit of saying the wrong thing to Romanoff. Coulson gets to clean up the mess, when he's not in the crossfire.</p><p><em>Many a time a man's mouth broke his nose.</em> ~Irish proverb</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poor Choice of Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/gifts).



> Being intimidated by and kind of fail at an attempt to continue on a case fic, I went looking for something I could write, and that lead me to a prompt community and there were MCU prompts there, and it was all downhill from there.
> 
> It wanted to be both a Coulson fic and a five times fic, and it's kind of a mutt-mix of both. Never had a purebred in my life, so I'm used to that.

* * *

The first time it happened, he lost track of his target and the Black Widow eluded him.

The second time it happened, he deserved it because S.H.I.E.L.D. was holding her as a prisoner when he'd promised her she'd be free.

The third time it happened, he stumbled onto one of her Red Room triggers while they sparred in the training room.

The fourth time it happened, he called her his partner.

After that, he sort of lost track.

* * *

“Again?” Coulson asked, taking in the appearance of his agent with dismay and reaching for a cloth before Barton could drip blood onto his favorite rug. “What did you say this time?”

Barton shrugged, trying to keep his hand on his nose. He stumbled over to Coulson's couch and sat down with a moan. Phil forced on of his handkerchiefs into the other man's hand before he went into the other room and got an ice pack from the freezer. Bringing it back to the couch, he held it out to Barton and waited.

“My lucky pack,” Barton said, holding it up to his nose and letting out a noise that was somewhere between a sigh of relief and a groan of pain.

Phil shook his head. “There a particular reason you can't seem to say the right thing around Agent Romanoff?”

Barton laughed. “She knows too many languages.”

Rubbing his forehead, Coulson wondered, not for the first time, if dealing with the two of them qualified him for hazard pay. “Which language was it this time?”

“Not sure. All of them, maybe.”

Coulson decided he didn't want to know. He sat down in the other chair and looked at Barton, knowing he'd lost another handkerchief. He was starting to think this might be the whole point of the game. Barton wasn't doing it to annoy Romanoff. He was doing it to annoy Phil.

“Have you considered apologizing?”

“That's for children.”

Phil already had a headache. He let out a breath, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. “Don't you regret it?”

“No,” Barton answered immediately. “Best. Partner. Ever.”

 _Damn it,_ Phil thought. They were both doing it to screw with him.

**Author's Note:**

> This fills the prompt: _[MCU, any +/ any, Many a time a man's mouth broke his nose. Irish proverb](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/526807.html?thread=75824855#t75824855)_


End file.
